Thursday, January 22, 2015

Boys, Boys, Boys (Midterm)

Changes in red

Most people get bored in school or in church but how embarrassing is it when you get bored so easily you can't even have one boyfriend for more than a month?

Losing boyfriends is like a talent. Ever since eighth grade, whenever I do had a boyfriend, I always end up getting really tired and annoyed and bored and I end up breaking up with them. I feel like a horrible person but I mean, hey, it's not my fault I'm easily disinterested.

There's this one guy though, for the purpose of this story we will be calling 'X'. I dated him after 'D', and for some reason I keep going back to 'X'. I'm not really sure why. Every time I date a new guy, I always end up talking to 'X' again and then breaking up with my other boyfriend. I honestly couldn't tell you how many times this has happened. It's probably been over ten. Each time we start talking again, I fall for his games and it always ends really badly. Something just keeps bringing me back to him. Each time it happens I'll tell my self that it HAS to be the last time and then, not a month later I fall for him again and we start all over.

I think he's the only guy I can really trust and rely on. I keep trying to look for a guy similar to him because I've honestly liked him since the day we met. I want a connection like the one we used to have but each time we start talking again, we fight and stop talking for a while and I hate it, it sucks, boys suck. It's his fault I can't have a boyfriend for more than a month. I compare everyone to 'X' and to me he was perfect, so now everyone I compare to him seems well, boring.

Each time I find a guy who I think I like, I'll date him then realize a few days later that I don't actually like him. Honestly, who does that?? And then I remember 'X'. If he actually liked me then I wouldn't be having this problem but no. All I want is to have a boyfriend who I can actually keep for more than a month but I can't because I keep getting bored! Some people can fix their problems and they can work on their 'issues' but how am I supposed to fix this? It's not something I can just blow off and think “Okay it's whatever”, as much as I would love to do that, my mind doesn't work that way. Don't ask me why because believe me if I knew, I would fix it and maybe actually be in a relationship that works out for once.

Okay, lets go over all my failed relationships. So it started with this one guy, who we will call 'D', it was seventh grade and we dated for eight months. He was an awful boyfriend, I wasn't even allowed to talk to his cousin because he thought I would cheat on him. He was extremely over protective and not only that but he always tried to talk me into doing things I didn't want to do. Then, after 'J', was 'X' and I’ve already told that story so then after 'X' was 'C'. I liked 'C' he was cool and nice. He was a little awkward but hey, so am I. I'm going to be honest, things with 'C' got a little creepy, so I broke up with him. I was also bored... big surprise there right? We are still friends today so I guess it all worked out in the end. I broke up with 'C' for this guy, 'K'. He played guitar in my band. He was nice but maybe a little to nice, ya know? He was probably the most uninteresting out of all my boyfriends. He took one month to hug me. ONE MONTH! He was also a boy scout and really ugly, not like the boy scout thing is a bad or anything just maybe a little to 'good' for me. I honestly don't even know why I dated him in the first place. I broke up with 'K' for 'X' and that didn't work out either, another big surprise. We got in a big fight and broke up. Then I dated, I'm running out of letters so I guess we will call him, 'G'. He never even liked me. Honestly, why date someone if you don't like them? LOL I probably should't be saying that. So, I have a fan page for Adam Lambert and he found it and started looking at it. That was supposed to be a private account so I blocked him on it and then a few weeks after we break up I heard that he made a different account so he could see it. That actually scared me a little. Who does that? So 'G' and I broke up and now here I am.

I honestly feel bad for my next boyfriend. I'm only going to end up comparing him to 'X' and getting bored and breaking up with them. I wonder if I went back to the day I met him, if I would still be getting bored in every relationship I'm in...

Staring at the cracks in my ceiling (Midterm)

Changes in purple

Staring at the cracks in my ceiling has made me realize
My biggest fears have all come true.
I am nothing,
With or with out you
I am nothing.

This insignificance,
This nothingness.
My darkest fears
They control me
They take over.

I need to break free
I want to break out.
Whether it's in my head, 
Or if it's all real
It keeps me awake at night,
paralyzed with fear

With this fear comes demons
and the demons
Keep me still in my bed
paralyzed with fear,
Staring at the cracks in my ceiling.

What. (Midterm)

Changes in green

Oh great, an entire weekend with my grandma and the rest of my stupid family. Not only do I have to be with my grandma for a whole weekend, I have to be with her, with no cell phone reception and no Wi-Fi. Could this get any worse?

I couldn't be more excited to hang out with my granddaughter, I mean, I know she's mad at me for ratting her and her friend out to her parents but it's really not my fault that I caught them sneaking in at 3:30 in the morning, she brought that on herself.

I still hate her for ratting me out I know it was my fault but she didn't have to rat me out to my parents... on my birthday! Not only that but she's so negative and I'm pretty sure she has ADHD. She can't sit still for more than like a second.

I really hope me and Jess have a chance to talk. Maybe she can teach me some of that cool, hip, lingo all the kids are using these days. Is YOLO still a thing? I have to remember to ask her that. Damn, where's a piece of paper, I need to write that down. Ohh, how cute there's a little lady bug on the window. Come here little guy.

She also hear either. Like, we bought her hearing aids so that she could actually hear what we were saying but she never wears them. One time, my mom was telling her that she's pregnant and she though that my brother and I were going to camp for the summer... how do you get "I'm sending the kids to camp" out of "I'm pregnant!"

Shoot. What did I need to write down??

And it's not like she even liked me before the whole "Nicole and I sneaking back inside through the window and Nicole getting stuck and falling, and waking her up" incident. She's always liked everyone better than me anyway. Why should I have to try to pretend to be good when I'm around her if she already doesn't like me?

Oh goodie, I just finished packing!! I can't wait to head up to the cabin. I gotta go grab Jess so we can head out!!

Oh great, she's here. I hate her car. It smells like old ladies and cigarettes. Gross.

                        "So Jess are you excited?? How's school??
                        "Yeah schools alright I guess. I..."
                        "WHAT?! YOU'RE PREGNANT??
There she goes with not understanding people again. Honestly like what. That doesn't even make sense!!
                        "No Nonnie, I said school was alright."
                        "Oh. You better be getting good grades. I don't need you disappointing me again."
Oh look!! A little hotel called The Ladybug Inn. I have to look that up.

Oh great, she pulled over. What the hell is she looking for? Okay... she's on her phone. Does she have to do that now? Honestly, I just want to get there and get this trip over with.

How do you work this damn thing... Where's the internet. Safari...?? What the hell does that mean. Is it gonna bring up pictures of lions and stuff??

Ugh. I guess I should help her so we can get going.
                     "Here, Nonnie let me help"

Oh jeez. She's gonna screw something up. What the heck... why's she going on Safari??

Oh my god, I'm already bored. Why's she freaking out I'm trying to help her??

                          "Sorry Nonnie it won't work because there's no reception anymore."
                         " Well god Jess, be careful I don't want you buying anything!!"
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. Kill me please.

I need a cigarette.

Ew she's smoking, why can't she do that outside of the car ugh. What is she even doing?? What. It's ten thousand degrees in this car why doesn't she use her AC?? I CAN'T HANDLE THIS. I'M FREAKING OUT! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND????

                           "Nonnie can we turn the radio on... please?
                           "No!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?? THE RADIO MAKES MY CAR GO SLOWER!"

What the heck is she even talking about?? THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!!
 "So Jess, is YOLO still a thing? Should I start saying that??"

Oh my god. I can't do this. Bye.

A Modest Proposal

            In current times, woman are expected to look and act in strict ways. To fit in with society you have to be tall... but not too tall, or skinny... but not too skinny. You have to be proper, but not too uptight. Mainly, woman are judged on body types. If you don't fit in with today's standards, you don't fit in at all. Girls and teenagers are the worst. If you look even the slightest bit different from the 'popular' girls, you're high school reputation is ruined. The 'popular girls' pretend that it's okay to be different because they want to seem like nice people but outside of school, they would never even talk to one of the 'nerds'. Ew she has glasses and braces, what a freak! Things like this cause those 'nerds' and the 'different' people to feel like they don't belong and then some get depressed, self-harm and in extreme cases suicide is the only way out for some people, and it's not just girls. The media puts out these one hundred, five foot nine girls for us to look up to, which isn't okay. Girls get these images of what they think is 'perfection' and will do anything to look like them. Girls go weeks without eating or weeks and weeks of eating and then throwing up everything they just ate. These things are bad for you and can kill you. Girls are willing to risk death just to look like the girls on television and in magazines.
            There is a simple solution for this problem, why not just make every pretty person ugly?? It’s much easier to make pretty people ugly rather than ugly people pretty am I right? It wouldn't even be to complex! At the age of 10, everyone, including boys, go in for an evaluation and if they are or will be pretty, you send them into surgeries like reverse liposuction and facial reconstruction. All the models would be normal and ugly and all the ugly people wouldn't feel ugly because everyone would be! One of my favorite quotes on this subject is “When everyone is beautiful, no one will be because without any ugliness there can be no beauty” (The Twilight Zone). In this situation you take it and reverse it so, when everyone is ugly, no one will be because without any beauty there can be no ugliness!
            Now, with my plan but in place, of course girls will still feel like they don’t belong but there will be significantly less. Girls would be happier with themselves, as would boys which would give them a boost of confidence and encourage them to do bigger, better things. All the happiness could even effect the world because why does war start? Because somebody is unhappy… buuuuuut if everyone is happy, BOOM! No more wars! World peace! Yay!
            Yes, many people will not like this. They’ll say that surgery is dangerous. But so is being beautiful, beauty can cause someone to be vain and mean which can cause them to be hated. Surgery is dangerous but when you have a beautiful person, who knows it, they can hurt someone and then that person could be unhappy. People will say there’s a chance of death with surgery but if they’re pretty then dying wouldn't do anything bad to the world because with this plan we are attempting to get rid of beauty! People say that they want to stay pretty but if they really want to stay pretty they can go run into the forest and stay there, out of sight from the ugly people.
            So basically this plan will end in world peace and less deaths caused by suicide and less people would be depressed, and who doesn't want that??

Monday, January 5, 2015

The Little Momsen

Taylor Momsen as Ariel in The Little Mermaid , Petal, Taylors dog, as Ariels fish, Flounder, Ben as Sebastian, Mark as her father and Jamie as Skuttle
Taylor Momsen is the character of Ariel, before the movie

Taylor is a rebellious , sassy 15 year old mermaid with a black tail. She never listens to her father or her friends, she desperately wants to be human and go explore the surface but she knows she can't.

Petal is Taylors best friend who is a fish.

Jamie is an obnoxious bird who is also Taylors friend

Ben is a crab who works for Taylors dad and is always watching out for Taylor

Mark is Taylors father who is king of the merpeople and is always angry at Taylor for sneaking out and going to the surface which is dangerous.


TAYLOR: Come on Petal, I want to hurry up and get back before my dad notices that I left!!
PETAL: Taylor, I don't know if this is such a good idea. I mean really your dad hates when you run off with out telling him, especially when you go to the surface to see Jamie, you know you aren't supposed to go up there. Jamie's just a dumb bird anyway!! Let's just go back!
TAYLOR: Look, Jamie's right there, it'll only take a second, I just want to see what this thing does.
                 Taylor pull out a cup and a jewelry box with a dancer standing on the top.
PETAL: Oh... well that's easy... that circle thing is used to drink stuff and the weird box is used to keep stuff in!
TAYLOR: Oh Petal, don't be silly!
                 Taylor spots Jamie
Look, there's Jamie right there, you can wait here if you really want too...
PETAL: No! I could see a shark or something.
TAYLOR: Okay then lets go!!
JAMIE: TAYLOR!! PETAL!! Oh well isn't this a pleasant surprise!! What have you got for me today??
TAYLOR: Hi Jamie!! I can't stay long but I found these things and... I thought you might know what they do.
JAMIE: OH HOW EXCITING! Well, well, well what do we have here. Oh. I know, this thing right here is used as a type of accessory that humans wear on their heads... yeah they call them dapadoodlees.
TAYLOR: wow... that's amazing!! What about this one??
JAMIE: This... this is used for humans to *whispers* do the 'business' in if you know what I'm saying... huh?
TAYLOR: ew...
PETAL: That's disgusting Jamie.
MARK:  Ben... I'm getting worried. Where's Taylor?? She keeps running off without telling me...
BEN: I'm sure she'll be home soon. Just stay calm.
MARK: I'm going to half to have a talk with her...
             Taylor swims in
TAYLOR: Dad stop it I'm not a child anymore!
TAYLOR: Daddy that's not fair!
MARK: Life isn't fair Taylor!
             Taylor runs off followed by Jamie and Ben
MARK: What have I gotten my self into this time?
The End